@charliedelta7: My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
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@AnOrangeSNES: CHEMIST: Do you like science jokes? I think they're so HER: No CHEMIST: very funny HER: Thought you were gonna say sodium funny CHEMIST: Na
@JessBWatson: I'm not sure what I did wrong but the pile of LEGOs left on the bath mat while I was in the shower seems like some kind of threat.
@juliothesquare: The letter Q comes up waaaaay too early in the alphabet. We’re not ready for it where it’s currently placed. It bellongs with fellow avant-garde acts, X, Y and Z, deep in after the mainstream.
@carlyken: [bank robbery] OK EVERYBODY GET DOWN! [dave starts doing the electric slide] Damn it Dave, not you, go grab the money