My hobbies include knitting and leaving one star reviews on recipes when I used different ingredients and different techniqes and it turned out gross.

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I’ve been getting some anonymous fortune cookies from an angry American — and I think it’s time to give props for creativity…


I took my kids to a restaurant for the first time in a year.

Turns out the pandemic was not the only reason I was avoiding taking them in public


My best dating advice is to wait after you have two kids and a house before you tell her you speak elvish.


They say dress for the job you want, so here I am, causally dressed as the moon


Directions: Allow food to sit and cool for five minutes before eating.

Me: No.


I did it again, I put way too much hairspray on my back hair, now I can’t sleep.


If the US admits that Trump’s presidential campaign is a hoax then Australia will come clean about the platypus.


absolutely disgusting that we as a society are still okay with people making hats out of cowboys


GOD- “I will send a plague that will kill all living things on earth”
*Fish slip the LORD a $20*
“On second thought how about a flood?”


List of food it’s okay to eat with your hands:
– corn on the cob
– chicken wings
– ribs
– hamburgers
– spaghetti at your in-laws