When I take pictures of cheese I yell “SAY HUMANS!” and me and the cheese laugh and laugh and then I binge eat and cry.
My husband and I are fighting. There’s about a 50 50 chance he knows.
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Learning spanish is bloody hard. I wish the english had conquered more of the world, I’m suffering from their laziness
Told my wife “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” and now she’s not mad, she’s furious.
[commercial for evaporated milk]
IS YOUR MILK TOO WET?
Pretty sure Zinedine Zidane never forgave his parents for all the waiting he had to do for his attendance call in school.
“Real men like a woman with curves” – Fat Chicks
There is no such thing as a “silly goose.” Any goose displaying anything but pure malice is trying to lull you into a false sense of security.
when we are all singing quarantine songs with our neighbors in 6 weeks or so, please remember good karaoke etiquette. No songs over 3.5 minutes, fully commit and don’t do the “haha I’m so bad” thing, and please avoid “total eclipse of the heart”
Kristen Stewart was raised by a pair of vacuum cleaners
Any dance can be a no pants dance. In fact, might be a fun way to bring back the Macarena