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@3sunzzz: My husband bought lemon-flavored potato chips. Long story short, he's sleeping in the RV.
@MariyaAlexander: Wearing my lesbian boots today. Well, they're faux lesbian. I don't believe in using lesbians for leather, even if they're farm-raised.
@ArrogantBB8: *somehow manages to beep at you sarcastically*
@theghissilent: the battle rages on
@shellyspivey: "I wanna know who is responsible for this!" nn-Me to my parents, while pointing at myself.
@PleaseBeGneiss: DOCTOR: your blood pressure is high
MY BLOOD PRESSURE: oh shit is it obvious