Me: Will you-
Me: Can you-
Me: Are you-
Hubs: Oh no
Me: Oh hell no…..
Communication is important.
My husband leaves town for a week: see ya!
I leave town for a week: here’s the kids pickup and dropoff times at school, all 3 practice schedules, doctors and dentist appointments, shopping list, dinner menu and PLEASE DONT FORGET TO FEED THE KIDS.
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I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption “it’s cold” could you tell me more about that
I remember when “Something’s eating up data.” meant that guy from Star Trek was deeply troubled.
The story of Rudolph is a great way to let your kid know that bullies will keep torturing him until he’s famous, then they’ll be his friend.
Hang on, let me clear my browsing history
Me: What kind of eggs do you want for breakfast? Scrambled? Fried?
4 Year Old: Chocolate
Me: You really are my child.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
White smoke from under my hood means either my starter went out or my car has elected a new Pope.
Saw a pregnant woman smoking today.
You can guess what I yelled at her.
Apparently she wasn’t pregnant after all.
You can guess what she yelled at me.
I always try to hold in my sneezes so I don’t give someone a reason to talk to me