My husband offered to make me a mimosa & then said, “Oh, sorry, we don’t have orange juice.”

Me: “That’s fine. I don’t take orange juice in my mimosa.”

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This spa was amazing!

Umm Miss, you just walked through our car wash.


look for the boy with the broken vape, ask him if he’ll be your escape, and he willllll be loooved


Laughter is the best medicine……..unless you have Morphine. Then Morphine is the best medicine.


Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife’s home.


I used a maternity leave to grow out my bangs.

And that is why she will always be my favourite child.


Developed Theory of Relatively.
Walked on the Moon.
Painted the Mona Lisa.

Baffled by bra hooks.