@3sunzzz: My husband said I talk too much, so we had a nice long chat about that!
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@SonOfCha: I saw a commercial on Animal Planet where animals were talking & that's all well & good but they totally got the giraffe's accent wrong.
@junejuly12: Me: ...and I also insist on cucumber water in the spa. Satan: she’s all yours, man. St Peter: nope, not a chance. Satan: then there’s only one way to settle this. St Peter: 1-2-3 go!...damn it, both paper, go again!
@BoomBoomBetty: [leaning over and kissing my spouse’s forehead] “Rest in peace.” My spouse opens their eyes: I really don’t like it when you kiss me goodnight that way.
@P1ssed_K1d: My dog eats too much food and throws it up. EVERYDAY. I swear to God if she keeps this up, she's going to look amazing.