The average 3-year-old boy can stick 11 kernels of corn up his nose before he needs a trip to the ER.
My husband walked out the door, smiled & said, “Have a good day!” like he doesn’t even realize he’s leaving me home with his children.
You Might Also Like
All women are technically bodybuilders if they get pregnant
[Be cool, just dont let her know youre a 1st generation PS3]
So where do y-
*internal cooling fan drowns out entire conversation*
Listening to my husband’s gorilla snoring and contemplating if I could record it and sell to the FBI as an alternative to waterboarding.
“Is this InkJet any good?”
“Sure – we’ve sold it to royalty”
“Mate, it prints ALL the letters”
Friend: “so how did you two meet?”
No Woman Ever: “he cat-called me in the street and we have been together ever since”
THEY SAID A MASK AND GLOVES WERE ENOUGH TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE
EVERYBODY ELSE HAD CLOTHES ON
I understand the face situation but you don’t have to be ugly on the inside too
A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
Please respect my privacy at this difficult time. I’m in morning.