@IamEnidColeslaw: what if the Blair Witch was just lonely

@rachelle_mandik: artificial flowers are properly known as "flower decoys"; learn some flower calls, then use the decoys to attract and kill real flowers

@HomeProbably: When someone says they love me to the moon and back, I tell them that’s only about 500,000 miles and I expect more tbh.

@frankzulla: You ever rub yourself with tuna and go to a cat shelter to seem like you're a cat whisperer? Doc: We're gonna need a bigger straightjacket.

@ewfeez: Start reading to your kids as early as possible. I start around 2:30 a.m.