@sarcasticmommy4: My kids wanted to know what it's like to be a Mom so I woke them up at 2am to let them know my sock came off.
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@briangaar: Girl can I ask you a question *gets down on one knee* would you like to make $8,000 a week working from home
@MrsMikePatton: If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he become a werewolf permanently?
@sarawrencomedy: *in a fight with my dr boyfriend* HIM: I'm sorry about last night. ME: *takes a bite of an apple*
@SteveDutzy: *logs on Facebook IT'S YOUR OLD HIGH SCHOOL BULLY'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! *logs off WAIT COME BACK! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT YOUR EX'S ENGAGEMENT!