@notalogin: My latest invention, spinal mascara, is creating a big backlash
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@Maxine12339: Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
@Crutnacker: BIDEN: That went well. OBAMA: Did you have to say you loved Trump's sons in Twilight? BIDEN: It's what I do.
@iamspacegirl: Spent a pretty long time watching the cat next door lounge in the grass before I realized he was a skateboard.
@LostFelicia: My husband's car radio is broken and stuck on a country station. I feel personally victimized when I have to ride with him.