grandma what big eyes u have
The better to see u with my dear
What big ears u have
Well thats kinda rude
What big teeth u have
My latest invention, spinal mascara, is creating a big backlash
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I’m always a little suspicious of women who say that they don’t “remember things”
Are your clothes meant to scream out “help” when you squeeze yourself into them?
*calls sister while babysitting for her*
“the younger one says you guys don’t own a snake. this true?” [kid in background] ITS LOOKING AT ME
I like how we say “vegan” now instead of “eating disorder”.
are they bowling to represent soup??? or to win soup???
(in a rowboat with 6 starving people)
“I think you mean “WHOM should we eat first”
It’s not burnt.
Me every time I burn something.
I thought twerking was tweeting at work
That’s how out of the loop I am
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.