@ashley_barnhill

My mom once asked if Jack Frost was based on a true story. Jack Frost is a movie where a father dies and returns as a snowman.

You Might Also Like

@AngryRaccoon2

Hi I’m in my forties and I cry when I drop something on the floor and have to bend over and pick it up.

@Epygma

[Dads birthday]
“Make a wish Dad”
*Dad blows out candles
*Looks around
*Looks @ wife
Where did our son go?
-What son?
*Dad cries with joy

@GodlessUtopia

“I’m not usually religious, but…” – Dan Mintz

#LGBT #gayrights #equality #atheist
#ReligiousFreedom
.
.

@jazmasta

Dude, what part of “I don’t speak your language” don’t you understand?

@TheToddWilliams

GUY: Do you want to play fantasy baseball?

ME: Okay, I’m a pitcher with gills

@ShutUpThatsWho

Scissors [to Rock]: So you beat me & I beat Paper but how does Paper beat you?
[cut to Paper meeting a hitman] Make it look like an accident

@ArfMeasures

Me: Can you describe the suspect?

Him: He was heavily armed

Me *writing octopus* this is bad