@poizngrl: My need for caffeine is so bad I'm going to AA for the free coffee
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@AnkCoupleTO: [special ops briefing] Leader: We're going in deep & hard in the middle of the night Me: I bet you say that to all the boys L: Get out
@gm_cage: I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college..
@EndhooS: Doctor: *taps knee with mallet* feel that? Me: No Doctor: or this? *jabs toe with a pin* Me: Nah Doctor: Just as I suspected. This is my leg