Women who want to renew your wedding vows….
Why not renew the bachelorette party? You’d probably have more fun.
My neighbor has a couple of cameras on her house, every time I go past I wave at her through the camera, she told me the other day she gives me the finger.
You Might Also Like
Just saw a bumper sticker that said “supprt your local beaver” or maybe it said “support your local brewer” either way it’s sound advice.
Every vote counts! Unless you forget to post your I voted sticker on Facebook, those ballots get thrown into an incinerator.
teacher: you’ll use calculus one day
me: *standing on textbook to get twinkies from high shelf* whoa how did she know
Day 29: worried I’m losing track of time
Day 4: nope. I’m fine
I can’t wink with my right eye. Please stand to the left of me for optimal flirting.
– Adele’s baby starts to cry
– Adele sings the baby a lullaby
– baby cries more, but now for different reasons
priest: I’m not falling for that one again dan
I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they’re hatching some kind of evil plan.