@T_Bonezzz_: My neighbor told me I should start living my dreams so I had sex with his wife
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@Jaywoo74: Wife: Are you coming or not? Me: Is there gonna be alcohol? Wife: It's your grandmother's funeral! M:... Wife: NO! Me: Then I'm not coming.
@MomOnFire: If you love someone, give them a possum in a box. Then you'll know how they react in a panic and you might change your mind.
@HatfieldAnne: To the Canada goose standing on one leg I watched for six minutes to make sure you had two legs: you sure took your sweet time about it