@JohnLyonTweets: My neighbor’s cat got into the booth with me when I was testing my teleportation device and now there’s cat hair all over my genes.
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@david8hughes: [ouija board] "Spirits are u there? I A M H E R E. Y O U W A N N A T A L K? Y O U W A N N A H A N G O U T? [squints] "A needy board?"
@shita3yosays: Nice try "unknown" caller, but I don't answer when my family calls so what chance did you think you had?
@murrman5: Sorry I lied about knowing how to play the piano. What's that? Yes, I agree it made the funeral uncomfortable.