My neighbors had the nerve to say I give them creepy looks but I don’t understand how they can see my eyes behind my binoculars

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*climbs into windowless van*

*puts on “Free Hugs” t-shirt*

*heads out to make new friends*


*waits for lawyer in windowless room*


Goodnight moon, goodnight stars, goodnight perfectly normal Purple Rain album cover where Prince’s eyes follow u across the room


I’m not positive,

but I think when you say you’re “over” something,



My boyfriend can shower and get ready to go to dinner in 20 minutes. It takes me 20 minutes to get ready to shower.


I’m sorry I can’t make your party but this LEGO treehouse submarine skate park princess castle isn’t just going to build itself


*breathes on window creating condensation

*starts to write in condensation


*head slams into window and breaks it


Apparently “will work for food” doesn’t involve hunting.


Cat toys that look like actual mice are going to be the reason for my heart attack