Me: It’s a beautiful night
Me: It’s a BEAUTIFUL night
Me: *opens trunk* I SAID, IT’S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT!
My neighbors hurt some bystanders by illegally setting off fireworks. If only there had been a good guy with fireworks around to stop them
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My son kicked his soccer ball in to a rosebush & now I look like I got between Chester Cheetah & Tony the Tiger at a coke party.
Apple CEO announces he’s gay. Samsung CEO announces he’s more gay and water resistant.
I don’t have any kids but I am a proud father of a food baby right now.