I stepped on the scale today.
Not to get my weight. I just couldn’t reach the cookies in the cupboard.
my new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone’s having a party
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Me at 3am: *googles*
“How to bite mosquitoes back?”
So,where you from?
[eyes turn black]
T h E S E v E n T H C i R C L e O F H e L L
Oh nice. ever miss it?
Y e s
*sells my soul*
Devil: I want a refund
Sex so vanilla Baskin-Robbins names an ice cream after it.
FUN BIT OF TRIVIA…The hard-working individuals who discover and preserve ancient pastas and breads are called starchaeologists.
cops: neighbours reported sounds of a struggle
**i begin to weep as I glance at my skinny jeans**
So many things changing daily.
For example, now DTF stands for Don’t Touch my Face.
Pretty sure he’s a ferret