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@theshamingofjay: My nights
50% avoiding getting up to pee
@EricGoldie: I bet a heroin addict could find a needle in a haystack.
@Pro_Jones_: (Art Museum)
Me:*sees nature painting*
*pulls out sharpie*
*draws sun in the top left corner*
My 5th Grade Art Teacher: *thumbs up* nice
@jonnysun: a•c•q•u•a•i•n•t•a•n•c•e•s (tv show, sitcom): six peopel avoid grabbing a cup of coffee together for 10 years
@AndrewChamings: ME: In 1923 W. C. Fields said "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."
BARISTA: I just need to write something on the cup.
@david8hughes: Interviewer: says here you're a sniper
Me [opening gun case]: affirmative
Interviewer: is that a Supersoaker with a Pringles can taped to it