do singers know a song will be big beforehand? like that snow white hi-ho song, no way those lil’ dudes knew, they were just mining and shit
my nudist neighbours are moving away and selling everything and I’m thinking the washer and dryer will be worth a look
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Oh thanks BBC.
Why do I keep seeing ads for yaks on my screen when I bought mine months ago?
To make up for all the junk I ate over the weekend, I plan to run 86 miles today.
My blood type is coffee.
If she’s freaking out, kiss her forehead, hug her & call her beautiful.. If she growls, throw chocolate at her from a safe place
Grandma said she thinks her new neighbors have got the gay.
ME: [slowly heating water containing frog]
WIFE: what are you doing!
ME: [adding bubble bath] Ribbit Downey Jr had a stressful day
ladies: the day after Halloween, don’t forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile
The ability of a morning phone call to trigger my anxiety speaks valiums