she like a man in uniform so the mcdonalds outfit here 2 stay
My parents encouraged our interest in the performing arts by telling my sister and me to act like we had some sense when we were in public.
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Black Mirror S05E01
January 20, 2021:
[fade in on TV set]
President-elect Kanye walks onstage, nods to V.P. Kanye, and places hand on a Bible held by Judge Kanye.
Kanye, arm around Kanye, turns off TV, tosses remote, and leans over to pet Kanye, who wags his tail.
[arrives at sales meeting with giraffe I bought last month]
“Ok, did everyone bring a graph tracking your activity this month?”
ME: uh oh
Do you, Charles Manson, take this woman who is clearly more insane than you to be your lawful wedded wife?
1.Walking on manholes
2.Driving, hit a deer, windshield breaks, deer caught and frantically bucks me to death
“I’m not letting you outside again,” I say to my dog right before I let her outside again.
[First day of prison]
“Hey man. Wanna be in our gang?”
Sure, I’ll call you. Just give me your cell number
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn’t just “lay in bed and watch TV all day” I traveled very far thank u
I never trust a Tom. They are far too often involved in foolery or peeping for my liking.