@mollandra

my parents’ wedding videographer intercut a clip from kermit and miss piggy’s wedding into their service?? without asking???

You Might Also Like

@Bandersnaaatch

Until my sneezes have time to figure out their beliefs, please stop blessing them.

@sjredmond

Rocket Man vs. Rockhead Man. An epic battle of two Superzeros.

@markydoodoo

THERAPIST: what brings you in today?

ME: sharks lack the ability to hug.

THERAPIST: *starts to cry*

@SteveSuckington

They say you should play dead if a bear attacks you. That shouldn’t be that hard once he snaps your torso in half.

@runner_mom2

My kids trying to pick up the name brand hamburger buns like they think we are millionaires or something

@_odlanyeR

Whoever named the ewe really didn’t like female sheep

@TheBenHoyle

I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.

@scottgal

Finally; someone explained Bitcoin in a way I can understand