my parents’ wedding videographer intercut a clip from kermit and miss piggy’s wedding into their service?? without asking???

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ME: sharks lack the ability to hug.

THERAPIST: *starts to cry*


They say you should play dead if a bear attacks you. That shouldn’t be that hard once he snaps your torso in half.


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I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.


Finally; someone explained Bitcoin in a way I can understand