@dumbbeezie: My phone only recognizes my fingerprint if it has cheese on it
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@sixfootcandy: No, Grandma; you can’t pull a Basic Instinct for extra potatoes at the retirement home.
@10InchesPlus: Did Batman know that Alfred was embezzling billions to finance a 4-person Magic act that was a front for robbing banks?
@ThaJawn: (Kid's Bday Party) Kid: Who are you? I'm you, from the future, don't eat that cake! K: *puts cake down, runs away crying *eats his cake