@BuckyIsotope: My rap name is Weapons of Mass Destruction because you go in thinking I'm going to destroy you but it turns out I've got absolutely nothing.
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@benharnett: I interviewed 300 high achievers about their morning routine, and you will never believe, they all have inherited family wealth.
@Parkerlawyer: A few years ago I accidentally left one of my kids at the Alamo. It wasn’t too bad, it was less than 20 minutes when we realized. The problem is now, at 17, anytime she wants something she says, “REMEMBER THE ALAMO?” and my mom guilt takes over and she gets whatever she wants.
@SamTR7: *Superman put glasses on Mt. Rushmore faces* Lois Lane: "What the heck?? Who are those people up there?"