Kiss me you fool.
Embrace me you dolt.
Cuddle me you simpleton.
Marry me you megalomaniac.
HAVE MY BABY YOU GARBAGE PERSON.
My sisters made me watch their kids last night. At one point all six of them were crying, but I just kept rap battling them one by one.
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DATE: I love playful women
ME: [dusting off an old porcelain doll in my purse & setting it on the table] Oh so you won’t mind that Cynthia joins us then-
I hate it when I finally finish doing the laundry then look up to see my family walking around wearing clothes
Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don’t have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire.
“Oh, we’re going for a 30 second car ride? OK, let me gather all of my worldly possessions and get a little naked.”
– my 2 year old
Anyone know how to fix a guardian angel, I think mine is broken.
I like Triscuits because sometimes you just want to eat a wicker basket.
Picture someone you think is kinda/sorta attractive.
Now picture them holding a pizza box.
Things I’ve learned as a mom:
Kiss boo boo’s.
Say I love you a lot.
Snuggle when they ask.
Do laundry daily.
Hide the good snacks.