@gerryhallcomedy

My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there – so he’d see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey.

My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there – so he’d see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey.

- @gerryhallcomedy

You Might Also Like

@TheToddWilliams

Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) played a major role in the scientific revolution even though he was such a poor boy and nobody loved him.

@Pork_Chop_Hair

Cashier: Want carry-out help?

Me: Please

*Richard Gere appears in Navy uniform & sweeps me into his arms-I’ve forgotten my groceries

@patnspankme

Best part of being married is blaming your partner for shrinking something in the dryer because you’re getting fat & it doesn’t fit anymore.

@amselts

GIRL: l’m tired of bad boys and their bs. I want a good boy, for a change.

ME [clearly a golden retriever]: *turns to camera and winks*

@virtualhippie

Being high in front of your parents is like trying to do your best impression of yourself.

@Ant_F3ltz

Little known fact: If you ride any animal in the zoo for more than 30 seconds… it’s yours to keep.

@hythemafia

Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits…..

@copymama

Me: Bedtime in 5 minutes!
8yo: *Begins the single most complicated crafting project of her lifetime thus far*

@fro_vo

“ooOOOooo”
“oooOOoo”
“oooOOoh”
“OoOOooh”

–spirited debate