My kids are gone for the WHOLE day. nnI miss them SO much, I can barely bring myself to pop this 3rd bottle of Champagne.
My son’s teacher spelled play doh like play doe
I. Am. Concerned
You Might Also Like
*5 people I know walk right past me at the store*
Me: *patting mask* thank you
Listen. You’ve been saying this for the last eight and a half months. I still don’t know what you’re “expecting”
Me: *throws myself at my husband* Give me all the kisses!
Him: Oh God! Are.. Are you dying??
Drink coffee. It saves lives. One cup will decrease your chances of murdering someone in the morning.
That’s not a tweet.
Alcohol: Yes it is.
The person in that bathroom stall would not survive ‘A Quiet Place’
alexa: that name was a fiction to hide my true identity, alizarin the demon god of fear and-
me: is it okay to microwave glass
alexa: for how long
My husband brought home an all vegetable pizza for dinner so that I could “kickstart” a diet. To be honest, he would have been better off bringing home a girlfriend.
Preschool Registration form: What’s one word you would use to describe your child?
*writes in all caps: RELENTLESS.