A candle with no wick, is just wax, but a wick with no wax, is just string.
What else… ummm… no, I guess that concludes my TED Talk.
my therapist: “take it slow, avoid caffeine, don’t put yourself into situations that you know will make you anxious, eat well and regularly”
me on I-95 with an iced coffee on the way to hang out with my ex boyfriend: “I should go VEGAN”
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Thou shalt not commit adulthood
Dumbledore: the mirror of erised shows your deepest desires.
Harry: *tearing up* i’m with my mom
Snape: omg same
Facebook: You have more friends on Facebook than you think. Me: You have higher expectations than you think.
I’m more hampster than gangster according to autocorrect
Every year on daylight savings I try to stay awake long enough to catch the government agents coming in through the chimney to change the clocks but i always fall asleep
God: Make some humans Sciencey
Angel: Will they believe in you?
God: No, but they’ll be so surprised when we meet!
*fools rush in*
*they all slam into each other*
*leans out office door*
Susan, hold all my calls. I have a very important lunch.
*goes to desk and makes animal crackers fight each other*
wife: Can we get a kids menu?
waitress *brings one*
me [already doing the maze]
wife: Can we get 2 kids menus?