@FunandFit40s
Meeeee too!
@blade_funner
My washer broke so if anybody needs me I’ll be down by the river beating my underwear with a rock.
You Might Also Like
@FunandFit40s
@nerdsrockk
When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress.
@welegi_
@pirjao
@PleaseBeGneiss
[first day working at DMV]
Me: I hope you like paperwork
Guy: I am not a fan
Me: *cautiously lifting paperweight* sounds like something a fan would say
@panmidwest
ME: Would you ever get a tattoo?
DAD: I don’t even highlight in books
@ThatMummyLife
*Chicken strips*
Me: *blushes*
@SteveKoehler22
Just opened a collision repair
shop called “Auto Correct.”
@AmericanGent69
Facebook Friend: I woke up at 3:30am so I could sneak in a 8 mile run.
Me: I skipped showering so I could sleep an extra 15 minutes.
@DistractedMomma
I often agree to let my kids sleep over at other people’s houses, just to remind parents that there are kids who are way worse than theirs.