@pauleggleston: My wife and I can't agree on appropriate gardening attire. But she's digging in her heels.
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@JPHaddadio: When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along.
@AbbieEvansXO: Me: I’m pregnant Him: oh no Me: with emotion Him: oh, whew Me: because there’s a baby inside me
@abbycohenwl: I try to often think "human meat is gristly" in case hungry aliens are reading my thoughts