@joeljeffrey: My wife and I don’t often spend money on luxuries, but when we do, I’m glad it’s for something we can both enjoy like decorative pillows.
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@david8hughes: I lost my job because my manager heard me slapping one of the customers. He wasn't even at work. He heard from home.
@PleaseBeGneiss: HER: *picking dandelion* blow this and make a wish ME: *fully inserting into mouth* how do I know when it’s done *spitting out seeds* oh it’s done
@JerseyRambo: My psychiatrist is mad at me, told him I could hear people but couldn't see them...he said when does this happen...I said over the phone