@Spaziotwat: My wife left me by doing the "stairs behind the sofa" thing and never came back
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@SexySillyGrl: You call it nervousness or having the jitters. I call it, I think my body was possessed by a meth addict in detox. Samesies?
@KMoFlo_official: Me: “You do NOT need any chips. Please leave them alone.” 6y/o, running off with bag of chips: “Yay, it says it’s Party Size!” *trips, dumps half of the chips on the floor* 8y/o: “I think it’s more of a Family Size bag now?”