@reeni730

Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.

You Might Also Like

@stephenjmolloy

[3rd date]
Kate: You wanna come back to mine for coffee?
Ian: Sure!
Kate: Have you got any condoms?
Ian: Do you not know how to make coffee?

@pixelatedboat

BREAKING: Epstein autopsy reveals his teeth had become piano keys, consistent with death by piano drop

@juliussharpe

Dating is basically lying to women about how you like to travel.

@kumailn

“Well we’ve been looking for this multiple homicide suspect for 5 minutes. Time to close the investigation forever.” – cops in GTA 5

@Matt_The_1st

Yes. You rt’d me 14 times in a row. Thanks.
You are first in line for my liver when the time comes.

@AGStr8upNinja

It’s not the amount of followers young GRASSHOPPER.

It’s the quality of followers.

@Turbo_Jimmy

UK – We call it Autumn, from the French word “autompne” and later, the Latin “autumnus”

USA – WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAF FALL DOWN

@simoncholland

Think you’re smart? Try explaining daylight savings time to a kid.

@OpenClassMX

If I say I love you, don’t read too much into it. I just told this cheesecake that I love it, too.

@stevevsninjas

Clark Kent: *sets glasses on kitchen table*
Lois Lane: Is that our table? I don’t recognize it.