@i_Lean

“Name him Mufasa, it means “king” in Manazoto. And uh, we’ll call HIM Scar. Because his face.”
Simba’s grandparents were the real villains.

You Might Also Like

@TheDjinnTrials

A fortune cookie told me I’d receive an important message soon.

The message in the bottle told me the fortune cookie was poisoned.

@sixfootcandy

BRIDE: *tosses her wedding bouquet in my direction*

ME: *dives out of the way*

@amanda_poops

HUMANS EVERYWHERE: If only it could feel like a weekend every day

COVID-19: Hold my beer

@angeliav68

It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside…

@FuckabillyRex

I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision.

@iwearaonesie

cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
me *tries to quietly open a can of beer*

@jessokfine

You knock on the melon to test freshness but something knocks back

@ScaryMommy

No, officer, no one is being murdered. I just had to rinse the shampoo out of my child’s hair.

@AshleyGriffo_

Your fingers have fingertips but your toes don’t have toetips, yet you can tiptoe but can’t tipfinger