@sofarrsogud

NARRATOR: When camping be wary of savage bears trying to take your food

*camera pans to a bear holding glass of wine with a wtf expression

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@bromanconsul

people are like “pokemon is basically dogfighting” but tbh if a dog with ice powers fought a ghost dog I would probably peek over that fence

@iwearaonesie

me: How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?!
Netflix: Because you watched “The Wedding Planner”

@GrandadJFreeman

Niggas be like I want a girl that rocks Jordan’s, plays video games, and watches sports with me” wtf? You want a boyfriend nigga

@Crunk_Jews

Tell me, “everything happens for a reason” so I know you’re an idiot.

@LafWhenLifeSux

My dog thinks her entire family was murdered by a hula hoop, there’s just no other explanation.

@eyeswidebutt

did you write “call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex” on the bathroom stall?

[wearing my “I hate gary” tshirt]: no

@TakeForGrantd

Middle schoolers are terrifying because they haven’t even discovered empathy yet. just a bunch of psychopaths struggling to learn long division

@CrisMtzgr

Fun prank:
Ladies, if your man ever asks “who’s your daddy?” During sex, throw him off by screaming “You’re not my real dad!”

@davecribb

I have watched this 30 times already since I discovered it under two minutes ago.