If LeBron is better than Jordan, then explain to me why Bugs Bunny has never asked for his help in a game in space. Can’t argue with facts.
Never doubt a Woman with an extensive vocabulary.
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HER: I love classic rock.
ME: (trying to impress) I’ve been to Stonehenge.
Just remembered a few years ago when I took my friends phone, went into his contacts and changed my name to Natalie Portman. A few days later I rang him and he answered, surprised but with real hope in his voice, “Hello… Natalie?”
1. Rage against the machine.
2. Check to make sure machine is plugged in.
3. Apologize to the toaster for the misunderstanding.
She’s an amazing woman not an amazon woman.
And now I’m never getting laid.
“Wow I feel pretty good”
“Maybe I spoke too soon”
*puts cherry stem in mouth
*pulls it out with a knot
*puts earbuds in pocket
*pulls it out with 5 knots
*doesn’t get laid
WIFE: no no no I loved your vows I just thought you could’ve used the word ‘bloodthirsty’ a little less
I’m hungry but broke so I’m waiting for my bf to say he’s hungry too than he’ll order something delicious while I pretend to be indifferent.
“Wow, it smells like *sniff* wait what the?”
*Rips blind fold off and sees house burning down*
Narrator: The power of Febreeze