Tour guides often say to me “that’s a great question,” but I like to dig deeper. What was the wow factor? Let’s spend some time on this.
Never had my own stalker before. Kinda exciting, kinda scary. 2½ stars – might recommend.*
*mostly dependent on them not killing me horribly before I can
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Maybe Van Gogh cut his ear off because someone traveled back in time and whispered a Drake song in it.
I checked my phone while I was mowing the lawn and now we don’t have a garden.
I never realized how short a month is until I started paying rent
Reasons to jump:
3. Bungee jumping
4. Kris Kross made you
Based on 2020 thus far, I’m expecting the flying monkeys of Oz to show up any time now.
[first day as tour guide on the moon]
Me: keep your hats on
Guy at the back: um they’re called helmets
Me: yeah you can take your hat off.
[ going out ]
wife: you’re wearing that?
me: i guess not
I was gonna buy a phone charger at the airport but I didn’t have $7000.
Me: (shaving my legs)
Cashier: I’m gonna need to ring up that razor and can of whipped cream, please.