NEW EXPRESSIONS "Kanye bless you." "Kanye damn it!" "One nation, under Kanye." "Thank Kanye Almighty!" "The Kanyefather, Part II"

NEW EXPRESSIONS

“Kanye bless you.”
“Kanye damn it!”
“One nation, under Kanye.”
“Thank Kanye Almighty!”
“The Kanyefather, Part II”

I’m sorry your eyebrows look like two unruly caterpillars chasing each other across your forehead.

“If only children came with instructions,” the witch lamented while preheating the oven

Leonardo: Let’s go rescue April!!
Donatello: Let’s do it!
Raphael: Bodacious!!
Michelangelo: Totally!!
Vincent: *cuts off ear* give her this

Coworker: can I talk to you about your Twitter

Me, hand on the fire alarm:

Coworker: I think you’re funny

Me, removing hand from fire alarm: yes

Apparently fat people in scooters despise being called a cripple-potamous

Him: [running out of burning house carrying two house plants and three Led Zeppelin CDs] I DIDN’T KNOW WHICH PLANTS YOU WANTED

A couple introduced me to their new born baby, “Herriot,” and I was like oh wow how old is she, 87?

Him: My tummy feels crummy.

Me: Too much rummy, dummy.

Sunday and Monday would be great names for twins if one was kind of normal and quiet and the other one was pure evil.

Eye Exam Lamaze Class
Emergency
🤝
Dilated Pupils

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