I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.
New Joker looks like he has the Memento disease and needs a bunch of tattoos to remind him he’s the Joker.
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Kylo Ren: We must find Luke Skywalker
General Hux: Why? He won’t fight & you don’t need training.
Kylo: He might have cool Vader souvenirs
If there isn’t a Pig Farmer who has changed his name to Steven Squealberg, I’m disappointed in the agricultural sector’s lack of humour.
If commercials want people to look at them they should all start with the sound of a phone vibrating
My toddler is crying because she wanted 2 strawberries but I only gave her 2
Date: Once I dated a guy who wore those sneakers that light up when you walk lmao
Me *daren’t move* haha what a loser
Of course I’m English.
I’m the retard convict cousin you shipped off to Australia back in the day.
I know it’s so bad but all the other restaurant names were taken. Anyways welcome to Feastiality can I get you guys started on some drinks
Best correction of the day, if not ever:
The next time someone describes me as feisty, I’m going to stand in front of them and air punch rapidly like Scrappy Doo.