It’s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it’s too late.
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I’m going to start a Metal band and only sing about things that make me rage, like when a spatula gets stuck in a drawer and I can’t open it
My cousin posted a meme in family group chat and my aunt said “maybe this is the year you find a husband like the way you find good jokes” 💀
“It’s a bird!”
[Superman zooms down to inches away from the screaming guy’s face]
S: Birds can’t go that fast Sean. What are you an idiot
i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13
me: i really don’t care about other people’s problems
also me: [sees a dead fish while walking on the beach] oh no what happened
How cute would it be if park rangers had tiny handcuffs for raccoons that steal campers’ food?
Hey “La La Land” remember when you gave us that fake happy ending and then took it away
How’s it feel
It’s not considered ‘people watching’ if you do it through their bedroom window, apparently.
I don’t normally shit with the door open but I don’t want to miss the in flight movie