@TheDailyEdge: Jeb Bush: "The Pope should not discuss climate change because he's not a scientist, although if elected, I will be your wife's gynecologist"

@orny_xo: This guy thinks I'm taking down his number, but I'm really just writing this tweet.

@abhorrent_wife: This could be us but you eatin'

@TheNardvark: When you’re cutting wrapping paper and your scissors start to glide is what I imagine heroin feels like.

@omgthatspunny: