@MomOnFire: Newsflash KIDS: The woman who paid for the fries gets to "steal" as many as she wants.
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@KellieMounce: Worst part of my old job was drug screenings. Had to tell a guy he was pregnant. Lesson: don't use your girlfriend's urine for testing.
@AnnietheNanny1: What kind of shit holiday encourages kids to ring my doorbell AND ask for free food?
@thepunningman: Police: Cover me Rookie: ok [pulls out guitar] Every little thing she does is magic