@TheAlexNevil: Newton taught us that a body at rest will remain at rest, a body in motion will remain in motion, and that figs taste good in cookies.
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@rickolantern: The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going
@TheMichaelRock: Some schools are banning Santa so they don't offend non-Christian students. That sucks, because Santa is my favorite part of the Bible.
@TheEighthKnight: Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
@nikkithecanuck: Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She’s the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt.