@wolfpupy: next time you hear The Boys Are Back In Town think of me, the unsung hero, who chases the boys out of town with a broom
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@iwearaonesie: wife [gives me piece of fruit] Try this me: Tastes like hand sanitizer wife: Did you just use hand sanitizer? me: Yeah wife me wife me: Why?
@HorryPuttor: The Hogwarts teachers must have felt so stupid when their traps designed to keep Voldemort from the stone were beaten by three 11 year olds
@RelatabIe: whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can
@lovejulieacafe: Imagine the shock of seeing her in RL with her average sized eyeballs and no antlers...