I’ve never made it longer than 7 hours into a diet before my inner fat girl ate her way out.
nice haircut what did you do ask him for a nice haircut & he said “no”
You Might Also Like
Remember, you can always call your senator and leave a bloodcurdling scream.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet.
If you don’t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
“You’re attachment is too large,” my computer tells me.
I blush. “My eyes are up here,” I respond coyly.
Her: I just love eating clean and staying healthy, you know?
Me:*flashback to the time I cry-ate two lasagnas* Totally
Keeping a blood capsule in my mouth for the next guy who tells me to smile.
Dear people filming disasters : You need to zoom out before running for your lives.
Nobody likes blurry footage, you selfish animals.
*pulls back your shower curtain*
What did you mean by “creepy”
Me: No glove no love.
Gyno: Please don’t make another pap uncomfortable.
“Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?”
~ God, doing whale inventory & coming across an unexpected non-whale after counting three whales.