@shita3yosays: Nice try "unknown" caller, but I don't answer when my family calls so what chance did you think you had?
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@BarebakAssassin: Most problems can be solved by pouring a concrete slab over the person causing the problems.
@stevevsninjas: Physicist: *pounds fist* None of our models predicted this! Cindy Crawford: What did you expect? My major was Chemical Engineering.
@Caissie: I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
@generaldietz: [space station] me: *winks* let's get astronaughty her: seriously? me: honestly, the only reason i became an astronaut was to say that