@NoogsCorner

Nickelback jokes are the Nickelback of jokes.

You Might Also Like

@TheToddWilliams

[blind date]

HER: I’m a big country fan

ME {trying to impress her}: China is very large

@sonictyrant

Bond: “Bond, James Bond”
Moneypenny: “Moneypenny, Miss Moneypenny”
Q: [looking dejected] “Q, just Q, Q”

@CantWaitToNap

*Looks up from phone.
“When did you get home?”

Husband: “I’ve been talking to you for the last 15 minutes.”

@iQuoteComedy

Final Destination 5″ …well someone doesn’t understand the meaning of “Final.”

@Robert_Beau

The boss accused me of taking a drink during lunch, but he is completely mistaken, I paid for all three of them.

@BadAssB48546279

Headed to police station to go through mugshots for a date tonight. I don’t trust ChristianMingle.

@david8hughes

[over megaphone]
“Police! We have you astounded!”
“Jim, it’s ‘surrounded’.”
“No, I know but look at his face.”

@BoomBoomBetty

[twirls in a dress made of knives]

Oh, this old thing? Just something I put on and wield against innocent bystanders every 28 to 31 days.

@Sassafrantz

boss: I’ve been reviewing the security footage from last night and…

me: OH SHIT!

boss: OH SHIT IS RIGHT! YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE ON POINT!