Now that they found water on #Mars, how long before they bottle it & sell it at Whole Foods for $19?
Nick’s coming over
Nick from work, or Nick who thinks he’s a scorpion?
*Nick bursts through the door* HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
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*watching the discovery channel* this isn’t very disco
Women love a man that can cook, tell a lady you’re interested in that youll cook anything their heart desires. And pray they say “spaghetti”
House arrest? Some people are so freaking lucky!
The first rule of Swim Club is don’t talk about Swim Club for at least 30 minutes after eating.
*helping son with math problem*
JUST WRITE 75 GODDAMMIT!
<at a baptism>
Me:What’s the WiFi password?
Him:Jesus Christ, dude!
Me:That makes sense….is it case sensitive?
The FBI agents that will eventually search your basement
won’t be able to sleep for a very long time.
No school, Day 1
7:15am: we have puzzles, activity books, stickers… we’ll get through this!
8:03am: *googles boarding schools with no coronavirus*