“I know it doesn’t look good on paper, but hear me out guys, Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na BATMAN!!!!”
Nike is coming out with a line
of Air Brady football shoes.
They have a built in suspension feature.
You just have to let some air out.
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im like a onion. peel back the layers and u’ll see that deep down inside im just a smaller more afraid onion
Him: I don’t trust myself round you
Her(flirting): Oh, stop
Him: I bought an iPad on your credit card when you were in the restroom
Netflix: Are you still watching?
Netflix: Might I suggest a shower?
For some reason, the Disney movie “101 Dalmatians” was much more popular than it’s sequel “Picking up Dog Shit for Eternity.”
Sometimes, when I’m washing my hair with coconut shampoo, I close my eyes and picture being on a remote tropical island, being cooked in a giant pot by canibals.
Can someone tell me the exact crime I need to commit to get put on house arrest because legally having to cancel plans sounds incredible.
Friend has been complaining about finding an avocado on his lawn every day for weeks now. Why would someone keep throwing avocados in his yard? Who would do that? You guys he just realized he has an avocado tree
If you encounter someone who is massively overreacting to something, calm them down by laughing at them.